Why Premarital Sex is not Safe for a Single Girl

You know that when girls are told to stay away from premarital sex, it looks to them like you are being prudish. However, they forget one simple problem it can solve – unwanted pregnancy.

I was just watching a film NNEOMA (Ernest Obi, 2022) on ROK2 TV now; and I was thinking that I need to put this down. This is a story of a girl that was in a relationship that the father rejected in the womb. However, through thick and thin, the mother’s love and care kept Obioma grounded. Her mother, Nneoma, desired for her to be educated. She was tempted on all sides but stayed focus on her goal of becoming educated. She refused to be misled by the shortcuts presented to her. She refused to make her mother’s mistake of being distracted by the pleasures of the flesh that men offered her. She got the education.

It was when she was on her way back from her service year that she was unfortunately involved in an accident. It looked like a hopeless case when the mother was told. I cannot tell you a lie: I had tears in my eyes. You should give it to Clarion Chukwurah (Nneoma), she delivered her part very well. It was classic. The veterans have a way of making you feel that the situation was real.

Anyway, let us not lose track of what we were discussing. The problem started with a lack of self control, which led to premarital sex. Indeed, waiting until marriage before sex could have prevented the problem. The father of the boy rejected the girl and refused to attend the marriage ceremony for his son to marry the girl. Despite the young woman going to appeal to the man to reconsider, the man and the daughter, the sister of the baby daddy, chose to insult the girl as being lose and immoral. Nneoma reminded them that she didn’t get herself pregnant and asked that the son should also be responsible. They did not listen to her.

Next, she confronted the young man that got her pregnant, as spineless as people like him usually are, he would not take responsibility. He gave the pitiful excuse that his father wanted him to go to military school. Now, did he not remember that when he was sleeping with the girl? Now that the problem was here, he remembered that he could not say no to his father. His simple solution was that Nneoma should get rid of the pregnancy. Nneoma refused to do that. She said she could not kill her baby. Even though the friend also tried to convince her that it was a mere foetus. Nneoma insisted that this was her child and would not kill it.

Despite the girl’s tears, the baby daddy chose his future over her. So, Nneoma and her daughter suffered for years. Nneoma’s mother sent her to her own relatives. That is where she brought up her daughter, Obioma. Even to pay the school fees, it was a challenge. Eventually, help arose for her and she went to medical school.

On the day of Obioma’s return from her service year, she had an accident. This devastated her mother, Nneoma. She almost went berserk. Nonetheless, her refusal to accept the girl’s death shielded Nneoma from losing her life. Eventually, Obinna showed up with her Good Samaritan, who turned out to be her jerk of a father. The film was resolved with the mother asking Obioma to forgive the father.

Now, where were we. I already gave you the low down of the story. What your takeaway should be is to teach our children self control. There is no point they becoming people with lack of self control. If Nneoma had waited for her marital knot being tied before having sex with her boyfriend, I am sure that the unwanted pregnancy situation would not have arisen at all.

Now, I know that some of you would think I was being prudish. In these days of family planning, etc. right? I can tell you categorically that abstinence is still the best defence for a girl for her self protection. I also think it allows us to teach our children about self control. When they learn to control their sexual desires, they would be able to control any other type of appetite.

Safe sex is an option, you will tell me. However, is it not better to teach our children to learn self control? Let us become responsible parents that teach their children true values. As much as we will not kill them for making the mistake of having sex before they are married, we should let them see it as the mistake that it is.

Love making should be a sacred sharing of affection between a married couple. It is not for children to experiment with. It is not for them to trade with. It should not be a transaction to get the latest iPhone. If they work hard, they can buy all the iPhone that they want to in this world. Or any type of smart phone or gadget that they want for that matter.

In essence, the important thing is teaching our kids self control. It is a critical fruit of the spirit. Let us take up the responsibility and become responsible parents so that we can raise responsible children. This is the only way we have a future that is better than what we have now.